I don't want counseling. Well I do but it's kinda embarrassing and I don't want to admit to anyone that these things are going on. It's easy to write about it and get input from complete strangers who can't see my face. I don't know. I often time feel more confused the more I talk about it. And I'm not afraid of him because I'm firm on that he knows that if he ever puts his hands on me again he's gong to jail. He started a new job that he's been looking forward to getting and I'll admit I thought he wasn't going to get it so I was mad that he was waiting on it and now that he has it I'm happy for him but I still feel like ehh. It's like my interests have changed