Well, your approach "where my depression comes from" seems very counterproductive, it's just puzzling you. Just consider that our character, the way our mind works, is mainly built in the first eyars of life, when you are most unaware of everything, and partly also in fetal life... are you going to figure out what could have happened at that time?

If it was possible, you'd better give it up.

I'm telling this as an enthusiast of psychoanalisis and psychodinamic, but guessing out what kind of experiences could have brought me to depression, is an interesting but still futile exercise. It doesn't heal me. It doesn't heal you.

I read our posts and you always mention this issue of the origin as vital. But it is not.

Then, of all your relationships, in this moment the most important is the one with your T.
Hey, the T is a pro, he will not give up on you, unless you give up on him. I mean, if you are afraid that T may dump you, then you don't feel therapy is doing good. Then you should address the issue: "doctor, I feel like I'm concluding nothing, am I right or just too pessimistic?".
Sounds rude? I suggest that you etch this phrase in stone:
THE THERAPIST CAN NEVER BE PISSED OFF

OK?

The best of luck