[QUOTE=b7e7m7;4892495] We would call her by the other name for the period she was exhibiting those personality traits.[QUOTE]

As was already mentioned , I can't respond as if we were on the phone. But I would like to respond to what I believe are the most telling statements in your post , as relating to my own experience. That being said , as to the quote above , was that word narcissist ??

[QUOTE] After getting married I found that the hostile side of her was not something related to simply struggling with present finances - I had hoped with the money I was making at the time all would be fine (I was so wrong!). In retrospect, I probably encouraged problems for whenever she would get real upset I would go out and buy her something, usually jewelry.[QUOTE]

So it appears you placated her "before" even getting married with a gift. Unwittingly , perhaps , you enabled this behavior. But as I became well aware in my own life , " love is blind deaf and dumb ".

[QUOTE] Also of some note that her "family" situation growing up was an alcoholic mother who had almost a revolving door when it came to "daddies", she never had a model of commitment, loyalty nor lasting affection - something that wouldn't sink in to my thinking for a number of years to come.[QUOTE]

Again signs of Narcissistic behavior coupled with alcoholism ! Very explosive combination. And you usually don't figure all this stuff out until it's too late.
Your desperate attempt to keep the relationship you are in going is what fuels
the fire. It took me YEARS before I figured out what my relationship said about me , then her , and then the "us".

[QUOTE]She became extremely abusive and hostile, many times what I would have to call hysterically crying, screaming and insulting me. Though I believed I had to maintain a course in business as the best direction to recover over time, I abandoned it because of how extreme she was becoming in order to appease her, as she was threatening divorce and I had long before decided I would not allow the breakup of the family no matter what (another realization -our country believes otherwise).[QUOTE]

What I said above goes for here too. It's all the same. She goes into these tirades. Insults you etc....You feel bad because you can't help her. Actually I don't feel that you have any idea of what's really going on here. You just want to save her and the marriage. And you seem to think money is the end all and cure all.

[QUOTE]And for some unknown reason, over last nite to this morning, she has snapped back into hostility.[QUOTE]

Even when things are looking up she will still act hostile towards you. Treat you like crap. Boss you around. Your her emotional slave. When she is nice to you it's just to keep you around. This is a "hostile takeover". You
just don't have a clue yet. And this "sudden changeover" that you talk about isn't so sudden as you might think. There are subtleties you could be missing. Or maybe we can add a split personality to the mix.

[QUOTE] I have my faults, perhaps many.[QUOTE]

This is probably the most important sentence out of your whole narrative.
Why ? Because you know what's wrong with your wife , but what's wrong with you ? Not to be rude but most come here initially to seek help for "THEMSELVES". Seems like there's nothing wrong with you. You know what forum your in and why , for your wife and marriage. But I don't think you know what forum you need to be in for yourself. What are these faults of yours ? What do you really need help with ?

I think that's where you need to start. Once you figure out what this has all done to you and whether or not YOU could have a disorder or two of your own can you begin to deal with the rest of it.

YOU COULD BE THE COMPLETE VICTIM HERE. But the fact of how you try and hold on should be saying something about you as it may not be for the reasons you think.

That's just my honest , candid , and forgive me , blunt opinion. Based on how it was MY own problems that led me , and kept me , in an abusive situation for almost my WHOLE LIFE.