Hi all. In case you wondered where I've been, I've been taking a bit of a break from PC for personal reasons. Sometimes coming on here and seeing all the heartache and pain is a bit taxing on me. I don't know why, but this place, though very supportive and helpful at times, can be draining, even with proper self care techniques. At least it is for me.

I guess the tipping point was when my elder brother grew very ill, enough to go to the ER and be admitted into the hospital. With that, and my whole family on edge with worry and fear, I just couldn't deal that and being on here. I needed time to invoke some serious self care. Thankfully, the time of crises has passed and my elder brother is back home and doing his normal daily routine and stuff. No cancer, no rare illness, just some minor thing that was causing a big problem, which was easily fixed. He now has a clean bill of health.

Anyways, since the start of the new year, I've decided that I'm taking my life in a new direction. Dating isn't working out, so I'm going to focus on just doing what makes me happy, which I realized, is being single. I am a rather selfish person and enjoy my personal space and freedom to let loose and be myself without fear that I'll do something to hurt someone I care about. Besides, the more I think about the level of commitment a relationship can grow to have, the more I realize, I'm just not ready for that. Yes, you heard right, I am now sure I'm not ready for a long lasting commitment from someone. I need to figure out how to keep a friend before I can keep a love interest. Walking before running, I guess.

Anyways, enough about that, I've been working on doing things I don't normally do. Today, for example, I went to a restaurant for breakfast by myself and enjoyed some pancakes and sausage. It felt a bit awkward, and made me feel a little self conscious (especially since I was sitting at a table all by myself amongst a very busy dining room and people were waiting to be seated), but I did it anyways.

I also decided to try my hardest to mind my own business. It's something I have had a hard time doing in the past. I'd always want to know what some other person was doing. It would be a curiosity that would turn into an obsession. Not healthy. So, I've begun the process of making myself aware of when I'm sticking my nose in someone else's business and removing it. There's curiosity and then there's just being plan invasive. It's hard, but slowly I am working on it.

I'd like to say I've done more, but that's it so far. Better than doing nothing at all or even regressing.

Oh, and as for going into the chatrooms, I might pop in every now and again, but I'm going to take it slow. I don't want to rush head long into doing everything at once. One thing at a time. Don't get me wrong, it's not that the chatrooms are a bad place, it's just that I'm trying to take things slow, and chats in there can sometimes be anything but.

If you were one of those who kept wondering where I was and what I was doing, now you know. If you aren't, well, now you know too.