Here I set crying my eyes out … so hard to write … my eyes are so blurry … I wish I knew why …

I watch my kpop videos and I cry … so I switch to tv … and I cry … I no longer seem to be able to control my emotions … I say emotions because sadness or anger is all I feel … more of an overload of emotion … too much all at once … I have no reason …. i'm depressed but that hasn't changed in forever … so why the crying …

it's good to feel something … but crying seems to down me even more … an hour ago I felt silly ….

this keeps happening to me … no rhyme or reason … it just does …

I guess if this is all I get I will take it … it comes and it goes … I really feel like i'm losing it …

my wife and kids think I am already gone … and maybe I am …

as I finish writing the sadness is gone … just a headache , sniffles and a tight throat remain …

the other emotion anger comes out of the air … so I avoid all contact …. besides work I have not left the house in weeks … I don't seem to get angry at work but I talk non stop … to the point of people avoiding me …

my T said I was emotionally neglected as a child … and I believe I was … maybe I am over compensating ...

but reguardless of why I believe the word crazy fits pretty well



…. Tigger ..