Man I am sorry for this post last night. I shouldn't have drank. which I knew but I did anyway. I feel so ashamed of what I did. I feel so weak. But thanks for your support everyone. I need it right now.

I'm feeling depressed still this morning but more just embarrassed and ashamed. I'm going to try to fight my brain today. I've just been letting it do whatever it wants. Maybe if I find energy to fight back this won't be as bad.

My mom is taking my son to my grandparents' house. I don't know if I should go. I don't know if it will be good to be by myself but I don't know if I can fake being ok for that long. I could stay home and go shopping for new shoes for Chris and maybe get my hair cut. Do something nice for myself. I don't know. That means I have to shower. Which I should do; a nice hot shower will probably help too.

I am sorry again.