I don't think you're alone and you're definitely not stupid.

I've personally found academic, information-heavy texts invaluable for normalizing issues around shame and sexuality. It's something I can do at home without having to talk dirty details with my T (something I sometimes find too threatening). The reading is rational and measured--all intellectual so it doesn't overwhelm me with strong emotions--either my own or the author's. I can just read and say, "Oh, X is common and a normal response, and here's the rationality behind it. That makes sense."

I hope you find some way to work through these issues for yourself