Just read on another thread about talking and laughing with people that aren't there. Then it hit me. My way of thinking has always been if I was truly ill when I was having my conversations then I would have to see the person I was conversing with. But what throws me is during my talks I would get this overwhelming feeling and need to do so. I would have to hide away so my kids did not think mom was crazy but sometimes they would catch me or driving in the car I would just disappear into a world of me and my friend before realizing I needed to shut my mouth. I thought this was just loneliness. Or having an adult imaginary friend. So where is the line drawn? Oddly enough I did this for about 14 years until November when I started meds. I don't feel the pull to converse anymore but I'm only on mood stabilizers. However I am learning and attempting to correcting my behaviors so that could be why also. Anyway to the main point I'm terrible at staying on it is this a mental illness symptom or just a call for some adult conversation? Adult conversation where I can sorta make up both ends although it doesn't always feel like I run both sides. Ok well I think I just answered my own question but I'm gonna post anyway as I'm in tears now and a wasnt prepared to deal with this.

No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!