Parenting is very stressful. Parenting a special needs child even more so. I don't know if it has happened to you, but parenting a special needs child can also isolate you which can make it even harder. It is understandable that you get angry with your son when he is temper tantruming. It is also important that you noticed that when you get upset he gets more upset. I would look for support groups in your area to try and get support from other parents who are going through the same thing you are. They also may know of other resources in your area if your insurance says they wont pay for treatment. Given that he is telling you he hates you my guess is that he is school age and this applies to him if he is. My advice would be that you get him an IEP through his school if doesn't have one already. They will be required to provide him with some resources/services. Where I live you are required to write a letter for an IEP evaluation. If you get any push back from the school, try and find an educational advocate to help you. Also you could try to apply for disability for him if you qualify monetarily as a family. If you do then you would get medicaid and he would qualify for services through his medicaid. Hugs for you and your son.