oh sweetie I am so sorry that this happened to you. Don't think badly, we all handle things in different ways. Is there any way you can tell your T you're acting in this way, maybe she will suggest telling the police about the crime? He may do this to someone else, he needs to be punished for what he did and you will be able to let goknowing he is paying for his crime. You will be able to move on and not harbour these thoughts and act in this way? You are making yourself ill, you really need to talk to someone abut this.
Please take care and think seriously about reporting his awful crime against you. God bless, pm me anytime, love, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo