I guess feeling apathetic is supposed to be a sign of depression. For a week, now, I've been in poor shape, mentally. I don't feel sad. I feel apathetic.

I'm no stranger to depression. But this is a new way that I'm feeling. I don't really feel depressed - just apathetic. I found a bunch of bills yesterday in my handbag that I just forgot to pay. I have the money. I just forgot. And I've run out of checks for my checking account. This is the first time in my life that has happened.

I'ld been doing a good job caring for my sig. other, who is chronically ill. I thought we had a pretty nice holiday season together. He's not that hard to help. Lately, I'm just losing interest in doing for him, or even doing anything for myself. He has very mild dementia, but his personality is nothing like he used to be. Most of the time, he's rather sweet and pleasant. But he doesn't talk much anymore. He watches TV all day and seems very entertained by just about anything. I'm glad he's so content, so much of the time, but it's like a huge, big hunk of him has already died. I feel alone much of the time that I'm with him.

He's become passive and apathetic, but in a pleasantly contented way. Maybe, apathy is contagious. Me being that way is leading to me neglecting things, which is going to have unpleasant consequences for me. I tell myself that I better get out of this state of mind. But I don't seem to care.

I better get up and try to do anything I can make myself do.