Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
question... in the event that you and this boyfriend had moved in together what would you have been doing while he was in his college classes, while your boyfriend was working.
reason i ask is you seem to be upset because your mom isnt spending time with you and you dont have anything to do other than sitting in the living room depressed...
going to be a bit blunt here... you have a dog does the dog walk him\herself, Im guessing you take the dog for a walk for his potty business and his exercise. Im guessing you dont just sit there watching for 8 hours this dog playing by himself. ...
my point yea its depressing to have your boyfriend go off on his own, and that your mom has her own routine. but you are 18 or almost 18, here in america when someone turns 18 they are treated like an adult, adults dont need their moms to stay home and not go visit other relatives. just go to work then come home to their daughters and sons who are now adults.
the 18 year olds I know are proud of the fact that their parents go off and leave them alone. it says their parents trust them and know they can take care of their self.
here where I am when a parent leaves their 18 year old home alone with the family pet that 18 year old gets on the phone, watches a movie, walks the dog, eats, go hang out at the local library. coffee shops, hit the malls and stores, even if they have no money they go just to see whats there and if anyone they know is there to hang out together. they get a job if they havent been accepted to a college yet. some babysit or house sit for a neighbor who may need some help, they volunteer with community agencies...
my point most 18 yr olds that I know treat the time mom isnt breathing down their necks as if they were living on their own...
you can still do all those things you planned on doing when you were going to live with your boyfriend, only difference is you will be doing it all on your own like other adults do..
suggestion next time you are out walking the dog take time to look around your neighborhood, I wouldnt be surprised if theres more to your town then just having to sit in your living room.
yea its sad that your boyfriend had to go off on his own but you do have options, and the time between now and when you can see him again will go much faster if you found something to do with your time.
|
Okay, well 1) I got into the college which is also in the city, so aside from working a part time job, I'd be also attending classes.
The dog doesn't walk herself, but a 30 minute walk twice a day doesn't exactly fill up all my time. My mum has never been around, yeah I'm 18 now, but I wasn't last year or the year before that. I'm an adult, I was an adult a long time before I needed to be - I've been doing my own laundry, cooking, cleaning etc for the last 3 or 4 years. My mum doesn't check to see if I'm okay for food, she doesn't buy any food and she doesn't act like a mum.
Maybe where you are, every 18 year old doesn't suffer from severe depression/anxiety. I can't just "hit the malls and stores" or whatever. I can barely leave my house to walk my dog without having a panic attack.
I have practically been living on my own for as long as I can remember. My point is, all I want is a parent. I don't have a dad, he's in another country and has been since I was 6 months old. Growing up, my mum was pretty much bed bound 24/7 with severe migraines. So I've never had a parental figure around to properly feel like I'm supported and such. Then I meet my boyfriend and it finally feels like I have someone to be around and a family to be around, now he's moving, it's hard to deal with because I'm going to be on my own again. Oh, and my mum leaves because she doesn't want to be around me. Not because she trusts me and all that ********. She doesn't give a crap about whether I can look after myself, she never taught me how to do laundry or how to use the cooker. I had to teach myself. So no, I'm not going to feel proud and trusted because my mum leaves me alone.
I can walk from either side of my village within 20 minutes, we have 2 fields and 1 corner shop. Not exactly much to explore.
Stop assuming that I sit around on my *** all day because I'm lazy. I have explored my village to a great extent, I've attempted suicide in more places than I can count in this village and I know my way around it considering I've lived here for 18 years. I walk my dog twice (sometimes three) times a day, doesn't exactly take up much of the day. Oh and the point of being able to do all of those things with my boyfriend was because I was doing it with my boyfriend. I've had a good 10 years of feeling alone and when I finally get the chance to move away from bad memories and loneliness, I'm going to take it. And when I can't do that anymore, it's going to feel a bit ****.
So please don't assume that I am complaining for no reason. Don't you think I would love to be able to go shopping on a whim on my own, or treat my house like it's actually my own. Please, try living somewhere with bad memories and depression and anxiety and tell me how it is. Please, I would love to swap places with someone who could go out confidently and work and be able to stay longer than 4 months in college. I would love that so much, but considering that my therapist has gone awol and I need to contact her - but I have anxiety - and my meds are ****ed up, my mum is more of a room mate than a mum and my boyfriend is moving away in a few months.. yeah, I'm going to complain a bit.
Kind of hoped for support, not judgemental ********.