My life was going so well. I was enjoying life. Then I had this bipolar psychotic episode and ended up in the hospital. I was on meds. But I took myself off of them. I have not felt like my normal happy go lucky self since all of this bipolar talk. It’s like I lost my identity and lust for life. I have two young children. I love them dearly. Though in my mind every day I pray god will take me. I hate living like this in fear of another episode.