So the doctor who broke me by lying, tricking me, being cruel, and saying I would live forever in pain, and then cancelled and rescheduled a surgery that I was really nervous about, only to quit her job the day before my pre-op was just on our local news. She was all smart and pretentious with her new job, spouting about how she cares for and helps so many people, trying to get more patients.

This woman left me high and dry, solidified my trauma and anxiety into PTSD by making me scramble to change work schedules, doctors appointments, condescending to me, patronizing and leaving me in chronic pain. I even had to cancel my therapy appointment to meet my new male surgeon, who surprised me with a pelvic exam less than a day before surgery. Then the surgery was horrible. I had a panic attack and still haven't stopped having nightmares. I can't let anyone touch me, not even my husband. I left scars on his hand from squeezing it so tight pre-op, and I feel so terrible.

After I recocered a bit, had a month pass by, I thought I was doing okay. I was working on physical therapy, mental health therapy, meditation, etc. I felt pretty even keeled really.

Then there she was spouting her mouth on tv, acting like she was the perfect doctor. And now I feel like I'm going to lose it. My heart rate is through the roof, I'm shaking, barely holding back tears, want to vomit. How can she go on just fine and I am now labelled a difficult patient and denied the treatment I need because I was driven to this state by doctors like her.

How do I calm back down? I did find every doctor review site on the Web to leave a brutally honest rating for her, but I still feel like my emotions are going to explode. I'm so defeated by doctors and their cruelty.