I'm nervous about asking this question as I don't want to trigger anyone, but I need help and advice!

I am a year late for my smear, but as this is my 'trigger' for all that I have been dealing with this year I cannot face going. I need to see my doc soon, and am so scared that she is going to want to do it then. I know the importance of having it done, I am just too terrified of having it done. Does anyone have any ideas that might make it any easier...PLEASE?!?!

p.s. talking to my doc isn't an option at the mo- so far the only 2 ppl I HAVE ever talked to about what happened to me when I was little are my t and my psych nurse...