JohnCrow I can relate to this. I'm very much alone so most of my connection with others is via social media. 99% it keeps me up and feeling connected and I interact. Yesterday I saw something that sent me in a tailspin of pain and insomnia and ideation. All I saw was a photo of a coworker out having a good time... It wasn't a post to me or including me, just one of those "check in" posts and it set me off (there's a little more to it than that but it's personal). I try to stay off of social media but that hurts worse. I'm here a lot as a way to avoid Facebook.

Someone else here recently posted how depression amplifies all of our negative thoughts, fears, and paranoia. I think this is the most distinguishing feature of this illness, at least for me. A tiny crumb of real negativity (a comment on Facebook) swirls around until it becomes "proof" that life isn't worth living. It doesn't have to be from something real, could be that someone didn't say goodbye to me when leaving work, and my weekend is ruined.

Hope you can get back to that place of optimism quickly. It is there. Hope you have some help with this even if meds aren't the answer for you (maybe talk about different meds?) Other tools and coping skills can help to keep things from knocking us off our recovery path or make the diversion short.

Good luck, I"m struggling greatly with this myself right now.