This is a tough one for me to post. I have recently been diagnosed with mixed state bipolar and it has been both a blessing and a curse for me. It provided an explanation for some of my behavior and moods over the years but it's scary as hell to hear it.

I have a very impulsive personality that turns in to compulsive behavior. Luckily, most of my compulsive behavior has been directed towards productive tasks like my career (which has done very well as I am in a sector that encourages manic like behavior)...occasionally though, my manic energy would go towards not so good behavior. Crazy projects that I spend way too much money on, or binge drinking (Never more than a single night...but boy would it be a night).

As my hypomanic episodes got worse over the years I did more stupid things, or skipped out on important ones, like paying bills. Every time I did something like this it hurt my wife deeply as she felt I had betrayed her trust...and rightfully so.

I'm now on Abilify and am feeling much better. I'm working with a therapist to help me identify when my judgement is impaired and whether things like building a giant marijuana grow box is a good idea...lol.

Sorry for the long one but my question is this...

How do your spouses cope? She is the love of my life, and the mother of my children. Me tackling my mental health head on is a huge step forward to fixing our relationship but she says she may not be able to get over all the hurt I've done. I really don't want to lose my family.

Side Note: I don't want to come across like I blame all my behavior on bipolar. I take full credit for all my nefarious deeds.