Wanderlust90, I can somewhat relate. It's like having symptoms that are very "mild" as far as that stuff goes but just seem on a different level than anxiety and depression. They're not quite like bad psychosis but then, for me at least, it makes me wonder whether it's something that points to something worse or whether it can really be simple anxiety/depression just causing those things here and there.

I've heard people with just anxiety talk about having paranoia, so I usually attribute it to just being that mixed with my complicated overthinking mind. But then I know there's kinda the use of paranoia when people really just mean really anxious, worrying and on edge, and then technical paranoia where you have an actual truly belief you're being persecuted or whatever. I know during the one particular bad spell, I was definitely having the second and wasn't even really aware I was delusional. But then other times I've experienced things that aren't quite that, but then seem worse than just anxiety. For example, for a spell whenever I'd get to my car in a parking lot especially at night, I would check inside it but then while driving just feel like someone had to be in my back seat. I wouldn't 100% believe it, but I'd be turning my head back to look quickly while driving down the road. And, I have social anxiety but had had more severe spells before where I would really feel like people were talking about me in public, even sometimes "hearing" things said about me when, yes, the person was talking but I know they hadn't actually said what I heard. That sounds like delusions, but at the same time I've heard of that happening with social anxiety. On top of it all, I know I have depersonalization and derealization sometimes and I just automatically attribute soo many weird perceptual experiences and things to that, which could be right but I'm not sure. Sorry, I'm babbling haha.

Thank you, jacky8807. I'm pretty sure he's the only option covered by my insurance without a huge wait list, unfortunately. I still remember how he diagnosed me on my first visit when, after I'd basically only told him I have anxiety and depression, he asked (almost his exact words), "do your moods sometimes go up and down?," and when I said yes he said I might be bipolar and prescribed gabapentin. I do think based on symptoms that I possibly have bipolar 2, but his "diagnosis" was more a lucky guess.

unlockingsanity, oh, yeah, hmm. I've just never experienced a psychotic episode "naturally" for lack of better way to put it, and I'm not sure if this one counts because of all the artificial mixing up of my brain chemistry going on at the time. I mean all within 2 or 3 weeks I quickly tapered off Nardil, then switched all around with Parnate, Emsam, Lamictal, and possibly others, quickly going on and off Parnate multiple times.
(This was all because I was in an outpatient program with 2 different psychs I'd see on different days who did not collab well at all, and I was so mixed up and desperate to get better I went along with what they said, btw.)