I just feel like everyone is against me. I don't feel like they are trying to kill me or hurt me physically but I do feel like they think I'm pathetic & lying. That they don't believe that there is anything wrong at all. That they expect more from me. That they are happy to ignore any symptoms because that's easier for them, denial denial denial.

When I bring up stuff to my family they have a habit of telling me that what I'm experiencing is normal & everyone goes through it & I just have to figure out a way to deal that doesn't impact on their lives. I'm SOOOOOOOOOO angry at them. How dare they play down how I feel & what I experience. How dare they suggest im being a hypochondriac when they have little to no understanding of mental illness. I'be been told by my parents & partner that suicide is just the weak selfish way out. I mention I've been suicidal in the past & even had a plan & procured the means to carry it out & my partner yells at me & asks me how I think that makes him feel. Then after escalating the focus is on how I should be sorry for saying things to upset him! WTF! & im the one the pdoc wants to ****ing medicate! In fact I've been told by my parents & partner that I wouldn't have any problems if I didn't take meds. So I haven't taken said meds for over 2 months, it's not getting any better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really feel like I'm never taken seriously, & I really believe this is only due to other people not wanting to deal with it because it's too hard. Maybe if every single staff member in the hospital wasn't overworked & underpaid people wouldn't be so dismissive because they would have the time & mental resources to help.

I'm sick of being lost in my head & acting normal. How long can you act? How long until something gives & im mad?