I don't really know where I'm at right now. I went for a nice walk in the park with a friend I met in the hospital today, and that felt good. During group today, I just kept thinking how I want to drown in the icy pond. Clozapine has been a God send for my psychotic symptoms, but I really wish I could sit through group without getting so upset. I think it means it's time for me to stop going.