I don't let myself cry in therapy appointments for the same exact reason. I let the tears flow today but not the cry that gives any relief when I'm done. Does your psychiatrist really understand that you're just not doing ok? We can all put up a front to appear fine on the outside but on the inside we are LITERALLY screaming for help. As hard as it is to open and honest with your therapist try letting it out a little at a time. If it all comes bubbling out so be it. It'll do more good in the long run. I know telling someone things like this is so much easier said than done. I've been there. Today happens to be one of my good days so I'm feeling like I can be a little helpful to others.

About your mom... do you think she just chooses not to hear you?