Thank you PandorasAquarium. I needed that.

I do have dreams, I want to go to college and go to university and I am going to. I've applied to my local college and so I'll be doing a course there and then university afterwards.

I love my dog and I love training her, I've got the basics down but at the moment I'm going through a tough time with feeling like she has bonded with me etc. I feel like she'd have a better home with another family and stuff like that. I know it's illogical because actually looking at it, she's got a pretty good life right now. And I want to do more advance training stuff but I'm scared she wont learn well and then it'll be a reflection on me or something.

But thanks a lot for your advice, I did really need to 'hear'(/read) that.

I feel this weird thing with nature at the moment, I feel relaxed and not anxious or stressed when I'm out on the field with my dog. I haven't slept yet and I'm thinking of taking my dog on a different field which has a forest and church/graveyard and cows and stuff. Might be nice and relaxing. Before that though I've got the doctors (to get a new sick note).