Pnurse thankfully did not recommend inpatient but I am starting the partial hospital program again. At first I didn't want to but I need to take time off work and it's not good for me to stay home by myself right now so I guess I'll do partial. I'm starting today. I chickened out and didn't mention emsam. They're recommending ECT again. I might do it. Because I know for sure it will work. So we'll see. I feel much lighter knowing I don't have to deal with work for a couple of weeks. That was a major stressor. I haven't informed my principal yet. Like I said I just don't care if they fire me. I might quit anyway.

I get to see my therapist from last time in PHP. I really like her so I'm glad I get to see her. I missed her.

We've done a safety plan so I won't have to go ip. I might end up there anyway if I do ECT again but I'm glad they worked with me this time. My old pdoc would have called the cops the moment I said "suicidal".

I hope this will help.