Every psychiatrist(167) on my new insurance has a two-three month waiting period or isn't taking new patients. I'm on a list, but what happens if I get in and the guy is a monster and I have to start over!?! I know that's no way to think. I want to scream. My mood has been sinking, and I'm really struggling to even be mobile. My partner said he feels like we're drowning in the muck. I know I have things to be thankful for...
My health physically
Having a partner( even with the challenges that presents)
Having and making it to my job
My coping mechanisms

I just don't understand. This happened with my last insurance and I never found a doctor I trusted. I feel doomed and trapped and blah blah blah(sick of spinning, sick of hearing myself talk, sick of living in self doubt, shame, self pity)