Hi there,

It sounds like you've been through an awful, awful lot.. and are struggling with guilt for turning into the person that your situation and early life made you. I'm sure most people would agree, upbringing always has an effect on someone, positive or negative.
You talk about Satan/hell - in the bible and at church as a kid I was taught that even the worst sinner can get into heaven, all they need to do is be sorry and believe. What matters is what you believe about who you are now and how you intend to live your life. By the way I'm not trying to preach or encourage you to be religious, but it makes a good point that every day is a fresh start!

Have you sought help from a therapist to help process the feelings you're having about your past?