I understand that you have no expectation that she will respond.

I don't know if it would change the perspective, but instead of asking if it's something you deserve, ask if it's what will be effective in helping *you* be empowered in yourself. I've heard many times that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. When I've had someone wound me in my life, I've found that the moment I'm free is the moment that they no longer matter to me. When, while certainly I will remember the pain they inflicted, they no longer carry any weight in my world.

And, again speaking out of life experiences, that most often happens when I turn my face away from them, as deeply as it aches in the moment, and refuse to give them even half a second of my emotion. When I grieve, I grieve with those that *will* respond to me.

The point isn't whether or not it's deserved. The point is your own healing and empowerment. At least from my perspective.