It really helps to hear someone with an almost identical story to mine. Wow, thanks Hashi/bipolar mom. I get a ton of anxiety every time I even think about my marriage.

I partied pretty hard when my wife and I first got together but I have spent the past 7ish years building an amazing career in tech (and staying sober other than the previously mentioned one nighters). All with the goal of settling my family down on a farm somewhere. My entire focus has been on building something for my family. I have spent the majority of this time in a high stress environment. It pains me to no end to think that I may have gotten this diagnosis and started getting help too late. She seems to be one foot out the door. Hopefully I'll be able to get her in to couples counseling.

The other part that is really hurting me is that this is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced in my life and I can't share it with her. She has put up walls and told me that I need to work on my mental health on my own and find my own support system...part of the reason I signed up here.

My original diagnosis was GAD with obsessive compulsive tendencies...so they only gave me benzos. I honestly think the benzos made it worse.