Hello and welcome to Psych Central. This is a great place to share and learn.

People here will have different views but I have found this by and large to be an accepting community, whatever someone's lifestyle or what they wish it could be.

I can hear how lonely you feel on your own, especially in a society where the traditional family is so important.

My belief is that we have to be honest with ourselves or we can never care for ourselves.

It is very hard to say, but some of my friends have found it is less bad to be single than in a relationship or marriage where you have to pretend to be something or someone you are not.

I'm sorry that I can't give you the advice you want, but there is sure to be someone here who has some similar experience to yours.

I suggest you look for forums that you might relate to. There is one on building self esteem, vital when trying to rebuild family relationships and one for men's support. There are lots more too.

Keep posting, you may want to try roughly the same one on different forums until someone finds you who can understand and help.

People here have helped me through some very dark times and I hope that you find encouragement from this community too.