HI Ariah -- I am sorry that you are feeling alone in the heart of the night. I often can't sleep bec. of anxiety and depression. I wish I could.

As for your musings that the medication may be turning you into someone you are not -- wouldn't it be the opposite. Many religions tell us, using various different languages, that we are the rich children of a loving Father, that He wants us to be happy, joyous and free. Secularly, the Constitution states that we are all free to pursue happiness.

If nature left out a brain chemical that we need to pursue happiness, are we becoming MORE of who we really are when we take a medication that gets us back on an even keel? Would you deny a diabetic insulin because nature left it out and it changes the diabetic from who she "really is."

Well that's just my $.02. Take care of yourself, Ariah.