I am glad that how I put that helped you, for some that read that, it might be hard to think about it that way. If someone knows they are honest and they take the time to learn about a lot of things, that person may not think about themselves as feeling that way. But, abusers always want to take that away from their victim because when you take someone's ability to have "self trust" they are much easier to control. When a person experiences a trauma and develops PTSD, that is what is damaged so much that the individual keeps asking "why can't I just like I used to?" or even "why does that bother me?".

However, if something surfaces that can be acknowledged as "that bothers me" that is important because as I had mentioned, first if you can "name it", then that is the first step to finally "taming it".

I developed my own business and part of that business was teaching very young children how to ride my ponies. I honestly did not care how well they rode or how fast they learned, instead I was really working on helping each child discover and build up their sense of "self trust", and that is about how each child was learning how to learn. Now, another name for that is "self esteem" but so many don't realize that is slowly developing their own sense of self trust.

When a person doesn't know how to "trust", what is that saying? What that is saying is that person never developed their own sense of "self trust" first and without that, it's very hard to trust others. So, a lot of different challenges develop from that initial lack that turns into different kinds of dysfunctional behavior patterns and anxieties.

Not very long ago I had a family come out to my farm with their son because they wanted to treat him to riding one of my ponies. I needed the money at the time and when this young boy was so afraid to ride the pony and his parents insisted, his fear turned into anger. I thought to myself, wow, this is going to be a big challenge for me and I don't charge someone if the child won't ride. So, I really had to help this young boy get up enough courage and first I had to get him to calm down because he was so afraid he was extremely angry. His mother was a very kind nice woman, but his father and uncles did not know what to do with him to help him with his fear that was now turning into a lot of anger.

It took me some time and patience but I made it a point to acknowledge his fear and to explain to him "why" he was feeling that fear and that it was "ok".
I asked his permission to let me show him what to do when he feels this way and I made sure he had a sense of "control" while I helped him slowly overcome this fear he was feeling. I also told him what "heros" have to learn and that heros are always learning how to deal with "fear". We took it step by step, and I kept allowing him to call the shots and slowly he overcame it and rode my pony around that riding ring several times and loved it. And then we talked about fear and I made sure he was praised for being brave and how he was willing to learn how step by step with me.

As I was doing this, I was also teaching his parents how to help him over come when he is feeling fear like this and becomes so angry. I wanted them to understand how to help him with that as I had done with him. A lot of parents do not know how to do this with their children. They either get too pushy or they completely back off and when they do either of those things, they are not helping their child understand "fear and building self trust".

So going back to the initial question "Tell People?", well, that is a biggie because a lot of people may not understand how to actually "help" and "support" when someone decides to try to "tell and in so doing becomes vulnerable".

When a person has been traumatized and they ruminate about it, what are they trying to do when they ruminate? When a person revisits something that traumatized them, why are they doing so?

If a person goes for a walk in the woods and comes across a snake and gets bitten what does that do to the person? Many people will be afraid of snakes, all snakes, however, often what that person will also do is they may go back and try to learn more about that snake, and that is so that person can find a way to rebuild their self trust so they can go back and walk in the woods, and at the same time know about the snake that bit them and where that snake usually hides and what to watch out for so they don't get bitten again. Often, the person will also want to tell others too, so others don't get bitten either, that is how we are designed as human beings so we thrive better.

What does a GOOD trauma therapist do with a patient that has experienced a traumatic event? They NEVER make that trauma patient uncomfortable or afraid of them, they NEVER take a stance of judgement and they even learn how to develop their body language that is non-threatening, did you know that? Their therapy room is carefully designed to feel "safe" too. Often they have a very comfy chair and even blankets close by. I have used the blankets as often I would have PTS chills when I would talk about things that I experienced that were traumatic. Most patients that have trauma to work through are afraid to talk about it, especially if there is childhood trauma involved, the constant fear is "being judged". What that is showing is how badly their "self trust" has been affected in whatever trauma they experienced.

It takes time to understand what "trauma" actually "takes from". Often the symptoms can be debilitating and very confusing, so much so that an individual avoids doing a lot of things that at one point they did not have a problem doing. However, an individual can develop ways of working around it and some of these "ways" may fill a void the individual may not quite understand. Also, it's a very "personal" puzzle that can take some time to slowly figure out.