Hi,

this looks like a friendly ,kind board... I feel nervous about posting and introducing but here goes..

I'v having troubles with depression and have had an eating disorder, whew, 'fessing up to this is hard...

at the point now were i realise its up to me to get well. I'm female, 35 years old.

had my first depressive incident when i was eight , started messing round with food at 10. Had major crash 'n burn when 16, then really messed up with food in my early 20's (starvation) and had incidences of self harm(not suciadal tho. ). I'v kinda coasted along since late 20's till 3 years ago, when it all went horrible. I'v known for many years that I get seasonal depression (as does my Dad) 3 years ago it was really bad and i just can't shake it off.
I had prozac, which gave me a respite, but found it numbed me too much (and good bye sex drive,)so now have st johns and 5htp, this keeps me from sliding, and i can (with a serious amount of focus) keep my s**t together. just.

complicating all this I smoke, and I think I have an addiction to painkillers, which have an opiate in them and are easy to buy in phamacies. I started taking them to relieve headaches and general aches and pains, and am afraid its getting out of hand.

I have a great therapist, this does help greatly. I have also been having sunbeds, this has been helping too.

Well, thanks for listening, its reasuring to read the board, don't feel so alone with this.

Himali