@peacebewithusall

That you for your kind words and support, and thank you for your service.

I can normally keep a lid on things, but like last night, I just get overwhelmed and sometimes it is good for me to reach out. I am normally not as expressive as the top long post but lots of little non-life-threatening issues building up which makes the mental part ramp up which sends my anxiety through the roof and at least this time it only ended up as a very long post. That is a good sign, I suppose.

I do lean on my military training and natural stubbornness to keep pushing through. It is just frustrating that despite all my effort, I end up in a worse place.

It didn't take me long to realize that psychiatry is as much as throwing stuff on the wall as it is a science.

They do offer me classes and group therapy that I turned down, maybe I should try it. I have a strong revulsion to putting myself out in a group setting, which is funny because I taught classes as a grad student to help me with it, it didn't help. I was as nervous on my first day of teaching as I was on my last after teaching nearly 700 students in my two years of teaching.

I will talk to my doctor during my next appointment and see what they have.

Thanks again.