I feel like a go pro attached to a kite, attached by the thinnest of threads to the body walking along so far below. I can see what I do, who I interact with, where I am- but I'm barely connected. I'm not participating, just able to watch with as little influence over him as he has over me. I'm just here to be buffeted by the wind with no control, no direction other than where the wind takes me. I'm so lost right now.