No one is saying that. We are saying this is a bad idea. You can be in pain. We understand that, but this is not a good idea and can and quite possibly will be used against you as it will be presented as evidence supporting the termination in the first place. There are other ways to deal with your pain than to in any way involve this old T somehow. You've filed a grievance; that is a strong message. Beyond that you need to work through this with your current T and keep a firm distance literally and figuratively from the old T.