Yes, unaluna, just leaving would be passive-aggressive. I think that's a good way to put it. That's why I said that I know I'm not being mature and something is wrong with me, emotionally, to concoct this kind of a way of protesting. I appreciate that input, and I'm going to read on pas-agg behavior to try and get some insight into how my mind is working. I have a history of this kind of behavior when I feel upset and treated unfairly, and you've put a name to it, which I hadn't thought of. You may have helped me learn something important about myself.

The kids would never shell out money to pay for a home health aid. They take the attitude that, if their dad is poor in his old age, that is his tough luck due to him not making better decisions when he was young. Their mother kind of explained that to me years ago, and said she was sorry that their hard-heartedness spilled over into how they treated me. I was deeply touched for her to express that to me. She was a kind friend to me . . . now deceased for a lot of years.

Nammu - that is a good economic analysis about how the government uses resources unwisely. There is a program for vets called "Aid and Assistance Pension," that would pay for some help. A VA social worker claims she applied for that on my friend's behalf. I'm skeptical that she is really working on that . . . supposedly since back around Halloween.

Thanks, shezbut, for weighing in. Your lady must have been sad to lose being able to be at home and get visits from you. I also try to help him keep active mentally. When we watch a movie together, he'll often think of questions about the film or the actors in it. I use my tablet to look up things like that, and it stimulates conversation. (I got him the low income, subsidized Internet connection @ $20/month . . . for myself, really, when I am there.) I show him facebook pictures of his kids and grandkids. Otherwise, he would tend to sit silently for hours. Two years ago, I thought he was just ignoring me. Then, gradually, I came to understand that his mind is drastically slowed down.

One if his kids never calls. His oldest - the one with the 6 figure income - only started calling him weekly when I got him a cellphone (on my plan) that is the same company as she has - so now she can call him for free. (This daughter and her husband earn, together, an annual gross income of over a quarter of a million dollars. And they've been making that kind of income for years. Between them, they have only one child, who is grown and married and financially secure.)

Today, a rep from an agency is coming to evaluate his needs. It looks like APS will pay for some hours of home attendant assistance. Maybe somerthing will actually come of this.

Regarding his kids, I guess I should figure things could be worse. He never has to worry about his kids because they are so successful. It would be worse, if he had a loser son who was calling him up to get help bonding out of jail.

Well, I actually feel much better this morning. I have managed to organize away some chaos that had crept into my life. When I get apathetic, I leave mail unopened for weeks and get all mixed up about appointments and other things. Now, I've good through stuff and am attending to things.

Thanks, all of you, for listening and responding. I think I'm going to be all right now.