Hi, I've turned to an online forum because I have a limited resource of friends and family and I don't want to stain my relationship in there eyes with my couple issue. I do however speak to one friend and my brother in this regard.

I've met the person that I felt to be "the one", three years ago, through an online dating site. We have lots in common and communicate well. I realize that with these tools, it's hard to believe that we're in the situation that we're in. This is why I'm here. Maybe I don't know how to clearly understand "the signs", "flags"

I was a single guy(40 yrs old) with a 8 yr old son, living on my own in a small town, one hour away from a major city. I have 50/50 custody of my son, with my ex. I've been working for the same company for 12 yrs and really enjoy my job.
I had been separated for 18 months before we met.

My girlfriend, (37 yrs old), had two kids around the same age. She lived much closer to the major city and also has the same kids schedule as I did. She works for a multinational company and has been there for 12 years as well.
She had been separated 10 months before we met.

We introduced the kids after three months and I moved in after six. I've rented my house and got rid of most of my belongings. At the time, I was on the fence about these actions, but I felt that if I really wanted this relationship to work, that I needed to properly commit and not always look back to "what if"?

At many times during the relationship, even after these, 'moments', she has told me that she now sees how she likes to be appreciated by a man, and how much she loves and appreciates us. She told me at one point that she's never been this happy before and never wants it to end.

I've recently been laid off because of lack of work. We've discussed this and are actually looking at it from a very good perspective. She comes off as being extremely supportive, however, it's only been a few weeks now, this may change.

She is extremely driven and successful in her job and constantly reward by such. She makes 2 to 3 times what the average person makes when you include her bonus's. She has a very big job, that's high stress!! This may be part of the issue, but she love's it!

The kids get along so well it's incredible. We could never expect, nor ask for better.

The issue...

There have been a few times that she has gone into a type of depressed mode, where she would detach and become snappy. She is usually a bubbly, carismatic person, so this concerned me. We've always discussed it and she said that she needed space. Time alone to be with here friends and family, or just alone. I understand this and have since offered up many times the opportunity, but she says that she'd rather do the activity with me. So I'm confused.

This last discussion, she opened up and added that she feels bad because of how well I treat her, and she doesn't feel that she does that much for me, but she does.
She's alway's made me feel taken care of, except when she's in those moods. (three times, duration of about two weeks). She's really searching for the meaning of true love... I don't think she understands it. She says that she doesn't feel that she loves me the way I love her, because of the above. I told her, Love is not the same for everyone and I don't need to have someone take care of me by picking up my dry cleaning, washing my car, taking care of the kids. I need to know that the person I'm with, loves me, has my best interest at heart, and see's me in there future, in all the best and worst moments. She says that she does feel this way for me... But questions why she doesn't feel it's enough. She says that she now feels that maybe she was not single long enough after her marriage... and she's confused.

I held here hand and told her that I understand, and I didn't want to be part of any pain within her life. I understand if she needs me to leave the house. I added however that she really should talk to a friend about this, as it's a lot to take on by yourself. I also added that therapy might be a good choice as well, not necessarily for fixing us, but atleast her. She tells me that she thinks that the only way that she'll really be able to understand, is if I was to leave.

She says that she loves me and our beautiful new family, there's just something getting in the way of full commitment.

Then, we went to sleep.

The next day after work, I made a beautiful dinner and we discussed this further. She believes that my suggestions are good ones and has decided to talk to a friend and find a therapist.

I believe that this shows commitment to the problem, therefor, I need to further commit myself and stay in this relationship. At the same time, the above is another flag, and I need to learn to read these better.

I really love this person and our new family. I'm afraid to make the wrong decision, too fast. I know that if I leave, I won't consider coming back. It would be way too confusion for the kids etc., including myself.

My separation was due to my girlfriend of 15 yrs meeting another man.
My current girlfriends divorce was due to her falling in love with the attention given to her by a coworker. She cheated on her husband and then the coworker called the fling quits. I have a much better relationship with my ex than she does, if that matters.

I don't know what else to say...

Thanks for reading my book
Me