I can't tell you how much I am moved by some of these responses.

All of the above.

I also do not want to reproduce my parents' marriage. I don't want to lose my sense of myself and my world. I am scared that I won't stand up for myself when I feel manipulation. I am scared that the things I find repulsive in my parents are in me and they will come out under stress and then the person I'm in a relationship will leave me.