Quote:
Originally Posted by ennui.
society just loves to condemn sensitive people. we apparently don't belong on the internet. we don't deserve to have a safe place to be ourselves, but all the cruel people get free reign and are never called out. they act as if it is a choice to be sensitive, but it is not always a choice. some of us are just made that way and there's not really anything we can do about it. i am sick of people telling us to "toughen up" and "grow a thicker skin" as if it were that easy. i equate it to telling a depressed person to "just think positive" or someone with anorexia to "just eat". it's always been cool to be cruel, and those of us who are sensitive and kind will be steamrolled over and made into carpets for these people to walk on. so why shouldn't i die? i don't belong on the internet, nor do i belong in the 'real world'. there is just no place for me out there, except for in a casket 6 feet under.
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I've often felt this way. I'm so sorry you're struggling so much right now. I think this problem is getting increasingly worse in American society, despite the bizarre efforts on the opposite extreme to be so "PC" as to ignore evils and embrace "everyone" at the expense of victims. (And don't get me started on victim-blaming. This has reached truly insane proportions, to the point where if someone is harmed deliberately and unjustly by someone, it is actually taboo to call them a victim...since that would connote something negative about the person who was harmed! Nuts...)
I don't feel like I belong anywhere, either, but remember that there's a great wide world out there, not just the particular community immediately surrounding you. Nor are the idiots you might encounter online or in the media truly representative of the entire populace of their country, much less the whole world. Remember that the evil and vulgar always seem to be the loudest and most aggressive about "being heard." I'm going to be able to move soon, and I'm trying to find a culture that's more conducive to my temperament (keeping in mind, of course, that no place is perfect). I don't know if this is an option for you, but if it is, I'd say do some research on move on to greener pastures. And they are out there. I don't care who says what about every place being the same because you'll still be looking out at it from your own lenses - Corvallis is not New York is not Saudi Arabia is not China... You get the idea. Culture and environment make a big difference in our lives; I, for one, know I'm very sensitive to them. So I'm trying to be reasonable in making the most of my life with what I've been given (and I believe sensitivity is a gift, not a flaw to be corrected), in a place more comfortable for me. There are more comfortable places online, too (though fewer, since it naturally relaxes inhibitions and brings out the worst in people), but I think they're harder to find.