Hmm I don't even know where to begin.... I recently graduated from graduate school and have basically fallen to pieces since. One thing I struggle with is that I am not really good at anything. I mean yeah there is a few things I am decent at but I have never really mastered anything (even what I went to school for). This got me thinking about my education and way of learning. I am trying to figure out if I am actually intelligent but just haven't found the right thing, if I am dumb and have to accept this fact, or if I am just lazy and need to buckle down.

I can remember to back when I was first starting school, teachers told me I was different and I can even remember going to see a psychologist. I don't remember them giving me any conclusive answer but a lot of the problem surrounded me not wanting to do school work. I just did not really like to read and did not really like math. When I got to high school I had a very lax attitude and really did not have any desire to go to college. I did take the SAT and did just average but the process of taking the SAT was very grueling. Like to sit down and concentrate was almost mentally painful if that makes sense. I did well in college but again when it came time to study for the GRE it felt very labored. When talking with friends they seemed to have a different experience in that they felt the subject matter was hard but the actual process of thinking wasn't so grueling.

I find that I don't really enjoy puzzles or games where you have to use your mind. It is just a really uncomfortable feeling for me to "think." For example, there are people who love playing with a rubiks cube for fun. I personally hate playing with a rubiks cube and it feels like work for me to use it. So I guess I have noticed a trend that anytime I have to utilize my brain to think about something I tend to find this to be a very tedious task and by default not much fun. Is this normal?

I mean I personally feel like I am of a reasonable level of intelligence but when I talk with other people about their experiences of learning I feel that I might not be and need to accept this and try to find a job that does not require as much intelligence. What do you think? Thank you in advance