I used to have paranoia before meds and then not that much, at least not in a way that disrupted my lie, until this last year. Seroquel not working, makes sense. And this is the first really bad episode I've done without lithium (we added it in November for 2 months and it did nothing). But anyway, my pdoc said that she thinks the paranoia and even some psychotic symptoms I'd had were more my brain being way too stimulated than necessarily psychosis. She does not know about the bad paranoia in my past; it was before her and then I just didn't tell her because I was too afraid and then it came under control as meds started working and seemed not to matter so much. Back then it stopped me from doing important things like showering because I was terrified of what would happen if I took a shower. I had many other things back then. My mom just was commenting on how much less paranoid overall I've become since moving out of a city or town to the country. I do feel safer here. I grew up in the country (but not in a safe home) so maybe it is that. But regardless I am better here except during parts of this episode when I've been way paranoid. Last summer I stopped at a rest area and a man and woman who were together both somehow struck me as odd. She did something weird with the paper towel dispenser and he was talking really loudly on a cell phone. I got it in my head they were going to grab me and I ran from them, slammed the car door, locked it and raced out of the parking lot to be sure they couldn't follow me. I don't know that they ever even saw me. But I was scared for hours afterward until I was at my sister's house which is also way out in nowhere and nobody could have followed me there. There were more.

So if 2 pdocs say overly busy brain maybe there is something to it? I don't know, I just know I don't want any of it to ever happen again and I really hope this med change slows that part of my brain right back down.