Hi everybody. Thanks for the words and comments you all have been making in my previous post, "Life Update". I don't really even know where to put this post for the most appropriate category, so I figure the catch-all General is just fine.

I have no idea what is happening right now. At this moment my mind feels just so mixed up about what I am supposed to do, who am I supposed to be, etc. I've been getting an attitude lately so easily, it's almost like I'm looking for trouble and one of these days I may lose control and give in to it.

I've been getting more impulsive as time goes on, at least over this year, I think. There are times of stress of whatever emotion at the time that I seem to think that I'll find relief by taking pills and doing some purging. I get a little more outspoken with these irritable attitudes and almost enjoy the challenge of trouble. If someone says something to me that's with attitude, well, by golly, I'm going to really enjoy that challenge and give some right back--perhaps with a sarchastic niceness. I almost want to "egg" the person on to see what happens.

I'm not a violent person. People always consider me quiet, sweet, mysterious, caring. I don't know if all of this is stress, depression, anxiety, PTSD. Could be any of those as I have had problems with it all lately. Or maybe my moods are changing to the start of something different. I don't know. Doc said once in chat Tuesday something in reference to welcome to wild mental health and something chat. It was in reference to like wild animals/wild kingdom and such. I don't remember exactly--can't remember much of anything these days--but you might get the picture. I hope that I am remembering enough of it right. Anyway, I kind of feel like I am turning in to that "wild" part of the mental health.