Quote:
Originally Posted by BPgf
Were your episodes longer or shorter? How long or short?
Did you have mini episodes and large ones?
Was it mostly depression or mostly (hypo)manic?
Did you cycle within a given episode or was it pretty solidly up or down?
Was it a really bad episodes that made you seek treatment, or the gradual realization?
What effect did your undiagnosed/untreated bipolar have on your family, friends, work life, school life, etc?
Were you on antidepressants? If so, did they make you manic or did they simply poop out on you?
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I have no idea how long my episodes were. I didn't even know that I had them to be honest. I just remember being happy sometimes and sad sometimes.
Now, I can't really tell you how long my episodes are until they get really bad. Then I know. It's really only the past maybe three years that I have been paying way more attention to these mood shifts. But I still don't pay attention to how long or short.
Mostly depression, as far as I know. The hypomanic phases don't stick out because I guess I was just really happy and having a good time. Depression sticks out. You know and remember that feeling.
Mostly when it is starting to get bad is when I seek treatment. I can tell when I need to see a pdoc for help versus a T for help. Last year it was so bad after I had done both and still could not function, I knew I needed way more help than either one of those could do much longer.
Prediagnosis I had no idea why things happened the way they did. But looking back it makes sense why I gained and lost way too many friends over the years. My relationships with my family members was so up and down (luckily now they are the best they have been in a long time). I had started and quit school several times (finally graduated, woohoo!). And I job hopped a lot. In my early 20s, if I stayed at a job longer than a year, it was a miracle!
I was original diagnosed with MDD, like many others have. I was prescribed Xanax to calm down the anger, irritability, and anxiety until my prescription for Paxil kicked in. I didn't realize it then, but I think it did make me hypomanic. After I started feeling better, I decided I didn't need them anymore and moved out to the Midwest with my boyfriend. Go figure. And of course it didn't work out..