I think I may be starting to get it, T. A little bit. An eensty teeny bit. Maybe. I hope. I think so. I hope this renewed *make a change* *begin to heal* energy sticks around and I have less crappy days, and more happy days. I'd even be okay with just normal days without feeling one way or another. I'm scared I'm going to start pushing myself again too fast and hard and have a huge crash again, and I can't do that anymore. I can't be in this dark place anymore.