Ah, the draft thing was just one of my daily internal crises, used as an example of my selfish thinking.

I believe there was an article on the main PC site about how actually, most narcissists know they're narcissists. Though I guess covert ones might be less aware.

Another thing is my relationship with grandiosity. I don't have much, but I guess I want it. I want to stand out, be special, recognized, dare I say superior. But I've convinced myself, to the point almost of paranoia, that the opposite is true. That seems to be the biggest hole in the narcissist argument. Without that...I'm basically just self-centered and immature (which I kind of already know...)

Yet some of the covert narcissism articles talked about another issue that pertains to me: an inability to connect. This one's been bothering me lately, and according to the internet the solution is selflessness, to give to others and expect nothing in return. As much as I can see that wanting affection for free is childish... just giving almost turns me off. Why should I deplete myself like that? That will just hurt me...I mean, I understand being kind and I enjoy it, I do sometimes to things simply because its right... but to make friends requires more than that, and I never really known how to make that balance. I guess I feel like I have nothing to give and others will just drain me so the pain of loneliness is worth it.

Now I don't know if I'm a narcissist or just socially broken.