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Originally Posted by DisorganisedMind
I've not been diagnosed but can relate heavily with the mentioned characteristics, especially the conflict between always wanting to be outside society, and the loneliness and insecurity that can bring. I have a marker in the sand between "wants to be a total recluse" and "wants to be in society and have all the normal things - but very much near the fringes". I move between them, now and then. Weirdly, the only thing that matches the loneliness of being disconnected is the anxiety of being connected....and there's the paradox. It's hard to serve two masters.
I've no expertise so....good luck. It can work with a lot of understanding I think and the right people.
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Being in society and having all the normal things but not center of everything socially sounds fine by me. I don't feel the need to be a total recluse anymore, the way my SPD thingie started originally was that, I did want to be a total recluse and I did fully withdraw, I essentially quit society. I did not find it lonely, I did not feel insecure either. It was rather comfortable. I did communicate with and helped people online and did my business online as well but that was about it. I didn't connect with them for the sake of connection even online. However I never changed my original goal of having a proper long term romantic relationship.. I just did not think about it for a while I guess.
You talk of anxiety of being connected, this is interesting as I do not experience it as such but I may have hidden anxiety... it could make sense.