Broken Husband, welcome to PC. I think we have a lot in common. I am divorcing my spouse. I got the letter in the mail today that it is next thurs the 11th the court hearing. I decided not to attend. I cannot go. They left in crisis and flipped out PTSD. They also have total five MI's and worked for CIA. The stuff is off the wall. All i can say is that i have been through the wringer physically, emotionally and financially. There is no way emotionally i can attend my own court hearing. There is nothing to go after just their things which they did not get by July 15, 2015 so they forfeited the right to have them. They said in court before then they didn't want anything, i could have it all, wanted nothing from me. Don't you love it? It seems the more you try to help a loved one with MI and they burn you. You will reach the point to just let them go, they are beyond your reach of helping them. You come to a place to say that sometimes love is not enough they need professional expertise that you don't have to give to them. That is what i have had to do. Hopefully that will help you to get to the same place and quit beating yourself up and start taking care of yourself. That is being kind to yourself and you have to to move forward. tc