It sounds like you may have major depressive disorder (MDD). if finding a psychiatrist is too difficult, why don't you start by going to a General Practioner and asking for them to prescribe you medication and/or refer you to a psychiatrist?
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--Keegan
BP1
Substance Use Disorder -- Alcohol (In Recovery)
900mg Lithium
15mg Temazepam PRN
"Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You"
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