I'm no psychiatrist, so I really can't say if you were really abused or not. You do show some of the behaviors, but with it starting so young, you could also have been scared by something you saw on tv and it stuck with you. I'd say you do have excessive anxiety for some reason. About your aversion or fear of older men, I was molested by a creepy old man for a few years. It ended when I was about 10. From that time every old man that looked at me I thought he wanted to do the same thing to me. I would even get anxiety attacks if I saw a man who reminded me of my molester. I hope you can heal even if you never really remember what happened. It is possible.