Uhh hi, I need help in knowing if I have some sort of mental illness or not.
I don't really know what to write, but I'll try my best. Recently (the past year, possibly longer), I have felt strange, though I don't know what it is. I'll just write out a bunch of stuff that might help someone help me as I am not good with words:
I feel constantly tired, never awake, I always check myself to see if I still exist (probably sounds weird, not sure why I do it to be honest), I usually feel no emotions what-so-ever, if someone did something nice for me, I wouldn't be like a normal person and say 'wow thank you so much!', i would be more likely to just say 'thanks' in some sort of monotone way, even if its a really amazing thing. I stopped being able to cry a while ago (I used to cry every day before I went to sleep for around an hour at a time), that is when I stopped feeling proper sadness. My emotions went away one by one, now I don't care about anything, no motivation to do anything and I don't have any kind of dream. I don't and never have looked up to anyone, I don't feel love for anyone (apart from my dog, at least i think its love), if my family died i probably wouldn't care even though they treat me so well, sometimes my head feels like its being compressed by nothing, i play games online every day even though i don't even like playing games (i don't really like anything.. I can't think of anything that I would like to do), sometimes i laugh at my reflection in the mirror for no reason, i don't understand why other people do a lot of things (people seem to act so illogical to me for some reason, for example we kill tons of stuff every day), everything before a certain point in my life feels like a dream (everything before approximately 2 years ago, where I acted like a normal human being), and it felt like I woke up from it. I feel constantly in some sort of awakened state and I am more conscious about everything than I was before that point, and when I look back I realise I haven't actually been happy at any point in my life, I constantly remember myself hurting other people emotionally every day and hate myself for it, even though I didn't mean to hurt those people, i'm very bad at talking to other people but I really like animals, eh there's probably more but I can't think of anything else at the moment.
oh yeah and i also have delusions a lot about be being some sort of god, yeah, it sounds stupid right? Even I think so, yet I still have this delusion.