I turned 24 today and realized how little my surroundings have changed. I've tried to become a better person and to view people in a positive light but can't. My deadbeat father whose number I have did not reply back to me when I said today is my birthday, because the idiot forgets. I don't have any friends and really think most people hate me.

I had a dream that my so-called cousins who were supposed to help me adjust to life here in a new city really don't want me to babysit their son but they pay me because I'm cheaper than daycare. And one of them didn't wish me a happy birthday either.

I'm actually crying on birthday but don't feel sorry for me. I just want to know how to stop feeling sorry for myself.